Cooper, Tanis, Fuller & Cohen, P.C. - Colorado Divorce Lawyers

Helping Your Child Cope with Divorce

Listen to your child; Watch what his/her behavior "says" as well as his/her words. Look for sadness, anger, anxiety, fears and worries, withdrawal and confusion.

Ask your child what he/she is feeling. Never assume they feel how you do or that you know what they feel. . . kids will surprise you.

Allow your child to have different feelings and responses than your own, even if it is difficult for you.

Do not criticize or put down the other parent. It may be hard, but is very important to your child's ability to cope well with the divorce.

Explain to your child that even though the marriage is ending, you will both continue to be his/her parents. Divorce ends marriage, not parenthood. Repeat this message as needed to reassure your child.

Keep your child out of conflict between you and your spouse. Adult problems are not for children and involving them will only cause more distress for them.

Encourage your child's relationship with his/her other parent. Give your child permission to love both parents. This may be tough, but is an absolute must, even if the other parent is less than ideal or has been less involved with the child.

Tell your child as much as you can about what to expect in the future, without making promises you may not be able to keep.

Utilize support. Both you and your child need support in coping with these times of crises and change. You probably will not be at your best during this time, so do not be afraid to ask for help. Get support for yourself; you cannot help you child if you are too upset yourself. Ask your friends, neighbors, relatives, teachers, clergy, etc., for support for you and your child. Consider professional help for yourself and/or child if there seems to be a problem.